lavender field in bloom

I am coming home…

What does “home” mean to you? What does the sense of home feel like? Is it a physical location? Is it a feeling of belonging, security and connection to something, someone, or some place? I don’t know why but I have a deep longing to find a place to call home. How do you find the right place to live?

Despite moving two times in my life away from my childhood home, I have only lived in one general location within a ten-mile radius. I have a beautiful family, a small close group of best friends I have known most of my life, and many other people I would also consider friends. I have other family members that live close as well. I love the house we live in and the secluded feel to its location in town. The community in which I live are filled with kind people and I have not had any negative experiences. However, I feel so disconnected and a strong feeling that I am not meant to live in this location anymore. Which leaves me with an overwhelming yearning to find “home”.

This strong pull to leave the only place I have known as a home causes a deep sadness inside me because I do not know where else I am supposed to go to find the place that feels like home. How do I find “home”? Why is it that the only place that I have known as a home does not even feel like home?

Is there a physical location in the world where each of us are uniquely drawn to where we can thrive? If so, then why does it seem so hard for people to move away from the only place they knew as home? Why do I feel so rooted to my place of birth even though I know it is time to move away so I can grow and thrive? For many years, I have always had an excuse as to why I could not go, but now I am finding it hard to see any reason to stay.

I believe we all have an internal GPS that is constantly pushing or pulling us in the right direction for our highest good. Discomfort and pain are good indicators that something is not right in your life, and it is time to make a change. Even though it feels unpleasant, I am grateful for this guidance system that the universe has in place. Instead of thinking life sucks (which it does sometimes) and sit and wallow in our self-pity for too long, the pain is pushing us to act. When we do not listen to the subtle discomfort and pain, then it only gets louder and more painful until we cannot take it anymore. We technically do not have to wait until it gets to that point. When we learn to listen to ourselves and the subtle nudges from the universe and take action then life feels like it is going more smoothly. Therefore, you feel like you are in flow and where you are meant to be.

How do you find the right place meant for you? Since I love making lists, that is what I did. I made a list of what I want in the ideal place to live.

What I Want in The Ideal Place to Live

1. A charming downtown area with a good selection of boutique or unique small stores, and restaurants.

2. Within a forty-five-minute drive to a bigger city/tourist location.

(Tourist location=restaurants, stores, many options for things to do).

3. Able to own a lot of acreage with the view of mountains, a creek or river on the property, and many trees.

4. This location has four seasons with mild or short winters and mild summers.

5. Many entertainment and activity options for kids (all ages) within a thirty-minute drive.

6. Safe area to live.

7. Not a lot of rain (my mood is highly affected by the rain).

8. A good school system.

9. A good hospital within a twenty-minute drive.

10. Spiritual and open-minded community.

11. Near a large body of water.

12. Traffic is mild during rush hour and light the rest of the day.

13. Within a twenty-minute drive to my husband’s place of work.

14. The area has to be beautiful. I want to feel in awe of nature’s beauty every single day no matter where I am throughout the town/small city.

15. The most important of all, the feeling that I am in the right place and a sense that I am home.

I know this search is part of the process. Whether I am coming home to my highest self, where I have a sense of being home wherever I am at in the world, or there is a unique physical location somewhere out there that I will find that gives me a sense of being at home where my family and I can thrive. Perhaps, it is both.