In my late teens and early twenties, I made many choices that led to consistent chaos, turmoil, and suffering. I did not trust myself to make a wise decision. Many of my choices eventually led to sadness, anger, resentment, and betrayal that would linger for years.
It wasn’t until my early thirties that I felt a shift. It was my “Dark Night of the Soul” phase. The darkness that I felt inside me set me on a new trajectory on my path.
I lacked confidence. I was indecisive and unsure in many areas of my life. It was difficult for me to make decisions.
One day I decided I wanted to do an experiment. I made the decision to listen to myself. No matter what choice I had to make in the day, I was going to go with my first instinct.
I don’t think a person realizes how many choices they make each day. What to eat, what to wear, which way to turn when driving, who you respond to and how you respond. Think of all the decisions you make while you are at work. The hundred choices you make for your family if you are a parent. Hundreds of choices are made each day that are often small and seem insignificant.
When I made it a point to listen to my first instinct, I remember feeling very uncomfortable. I was also shocked how often I ignored my first gut instinct. Even the smallest decisions that seemed insignificant, I would almost always have the urge to pick the second choice. I had doubted myself for so long that I didn’t trust myself. I had to force myself to pick my first choice.
Training myself to listen to the voice inside me took time and persistence. I continued doing this exercise every day until it felt natural for me to go with my first instinct.
After doing this exercise for awhile, I would falter on occasion and go against my first instinct. I would quickly realize it was not the right choice. I became aware of the sensations in my body. I felt the heaviness in my chest, the doubt in my heart, and the consequences created unhappiness in my life.
I was oblivious the entire time before doing this exercise that my body was communicating with me all along. The dis-ease I felt every time I betrayed the voice inside me would only grow louder and stronger the more I ignored my intuition.
It’s amazing how I went so long ignoring that voice inside of myself. Looking back, if I was truly honest, I had ignored that voice all along. It wasn’t that I was making poor choices by listening to my gut. I rarely listened to that voice in the first place.
It took me a long time to learn that my intuition is the voice of my soul. My intuition is the part of me connected to God, the universe, a higher consciousness, whatever name you use to call a higher power. My intuition always has my back. It wants me to succeed and stay on my highest path.
After I took the steps to train myself to listen to my gut instincts, I felt I stepped onto a path towards my highest self. By listening to my intuition, I learned that I am much happier and the outcome is more positive. I feel more at peace in my heart and in my soul.