I know this time of year can be hard on many people. There are reminders everywhere we look taking us back to a past of happier times in our life. Perhaps, you may have never experienced a joyful Christmas and do not understand the blissful happiness exuding from so many.
Many people are busy celebrating with family and friends. Shopping and spending money on presents. Their joy and happiness can be a reminder that you are not in that same position in life, which can feel like salt being rubbed in a wound.
Although this is my favorite time of year for many reasons, I have had my share of holiday seasons that were not exciting or filled with blissful memories. This time of year is not immune to hardship, despite the many efforts to bring joy into the season.
Instead of looking down or trying to quiet the joy from others when we are going through our less exciting holiday season, perhaps we can observe their happiness with a knowing that one day that will be us enjoying the holidays.
This reminds me when my oldest son Ryland was little. My best friend and I became pregnant at the same time. Our boys would be a few months apart in age. What was going to be a fun experience raising our children together turned into two separate worlds of parenting.
While Ryland had severe delays due to a lack of oxygen at birth, my best friend was able to experience the normal phases of watching a healthy child grow. In the early years, we would talk on the phone almost daily. She would share with me all the new things her son was doing at the expected stages. As she would tell me her exciting story of all his firsts, I would silently be crying on the phone.
People love sharing the highs of their life with others. She never knew I was crying on the other side of the phone. I would always gain enough composure in between my hidden sadness to say words of happiness to mirror her joy. I never wanted to dim her light or stop her from sharing these amazing moments that I knew I would never experience with Ryland.
I knew in my heart that one day I would want to share something amazing that happened with Ryland. How could I stifle her joyful moments because it made me uncomfortable? Those days of sharing happier stories about Ryland eventually came. Although my highs looked different than her highlights of her life, they still happened, and I was able to share those stories with her when they arrived.
All of us experience the ebb and flow of life bringing us to our highest peaks and sinking us to our lowest depths throughout our journey. If this holiday season is filled with more sadness than happiness, know that you will not be this sad forever. The ebb and flow of life will bring you back up again despite how hard that is to imagine right now. If there is any certainty in life, it is that we never stay in one place for long and change will occur.
The sun always sets on our best and worst days and rises again. If this holiday season has not been the best, take this time to take care of yourself. Do what you need to do to move through each moment.
It is okay to skip some traditions. It is okay to say “no” to your loved ones. It is okay to remove some people from your gift giving list. It is okay to take time for yourself to recharge and heal.
On the contrary, if this is an amazing holiday season for you, then enjoy it all…the lights, the decorations, the food, friends, family, the festive activities, the joy that the energy this time of year can bring, and the music. Enjoy each moment and file it away in your mind in case you need to refer to it at a later date to uplift your spirit. This time of year can be magical.
Whichever type of season this is in your life right now, I hope you will find peace, love, and kindness.