Why is learning to forgive so hard to achieve? Why do people feel the need to hold onto grudges and the past? I have found that learning to forgive has been my greatest life challenge so far.
This past summer, my husband and I went on vacation to Cozumel. We experienced a Temazcal ceremony. The purpose of this type of traditional ceremony is to detoxify the mind, body, and soul by sitting in a sweat lodge and doing some inner work. It felt like marriage counseling or therapy with a Mayan twist. One of the main things that I took away from that experience was the mantra the shaman had us repeat over and over again. Which is…
Thank you (insert name).
I forgive you (insert name).
Please forgive me (insert name).
I love you (insert name).
Goodbye (insert name).
We said the mantra to each other. We said it to our ancestors. We said it to family members in this lifetime. We said it to places. We had to tell a story from our childhood, and we said the mantra to the people in the story we chose to tell. It was not until I came home from our vacation where I was able to process the importance of this mantra.
In the mantra, we are saying “thank you” to the person or place that played a role in our lives. Whether that role caused us pain, taught us a lesson, helped balance our karma or all the above. They served a purpose in our life which changed us in some way. “I forgive you” for causing my grief, pain, or sorrow. “Please forgive me” for any role I had during our time together that brought myself and perhaps the other person pain as well. “I love you” for either already loving and knowing you and playing a role in my life or loving you because all souls are connected on a spiritual level. Finally, saying “Goodbye”. Either literally saying goodbye and letting go of that person or place that contributed to my pain or saying goodbye to the version of that person who brought grief or sorrow into my life.
I am still working on learning to forgive other people and myself. It has been a slow learning process, but I am getting there. I realized while writing this that perhaps forgiveness is the way to feel free. If you read my prior blog called, “The Desire to Be Free”, I talked about my longing to be free that I have felt throughout my entire adult life. I cannot tell you exactly what I want to be free from because I have not figured that out yet, which makes it more frustrating. Maybe learning to fully forgive myself and others will set me free.