I am currently forty years old. I have evolved quite a bit over the years as all people do as they age. I actually like getting older because I like being wiser, smarter, more evolved, and knowing myself better. Sometimes I wonder if my life would have been any different if I would have known at age eighteen what I know now. Would I have been kinder to myself over the years? Would I have worried less about what other people think? Would I have had less stress knowing that most of my fears would never become a reality? What would I tell my eighteen-year-old self now that I am forty years old?
LETTER TO MY YOUNGER SELF:
“Dear Kathleen,
Your life turns out far better than you imagine. Your life with Ryland, although challenging at times, will be easier than you think. In fact, you will not find this out for a long time, but he will be your easiest child to raise when anyone from the outside looking in would think otherwise. He will be one of your greatest teachers. You will have two more amazing children who are healthy. They will bring you so much joy, a lot of frustration, and immense love. You are stronger than you think. I don’t know if you always had the strength, or if it was like a muscle and it grew far beyond what you could have ever expected. You will experience life. You will have the desire to live and not simply just exist. Therefore, you will take advantage of the many opportunities that come your way because you know it may not come again. Unfortunately, you will live in a place of fear for a long time. It will take you many years to get out of that darkness and step into the light. It will take you a long time to find yourself, but you will become a seeker and search for the answers as to why you are here and what your purpose is in this lifetime. Your spiritual beliefs will evolve and change from the beliefs you grew up learning. Although they may be similar, the language to describe your spirituality will alter. You will find like-minded people along your spiritual journey to help you on your way. You will not need to step inside of any building of worship to find God. You will be able to see God in the sky and the trees and feel God every time you are outside in nature because God is not “out there”. The universal life force that is God is inside of you and every living thing, and is everywhere, and you are all connected by that energetic force.
Life will only get better as you age. All your big dreams will come true. Your dream to be a stay-at-home mom will come true. Your dream to marry a good hard-working man that will put you and your family first will come true. He will be a great father and husband and love you the way you deserve to be loved. Your dream of having healthy children will come true. Your dream of living in a beautiful home will come true. Your wish to have Ryland here with you longer than you expect or have been told will come true. You will live a great life. You are a wonderful mother and wife. You are a kind and good person. You are smart and creative. You have so many gifts. You are worthy of all the good things in your life. Listen to yourself. You have all the answers already inside of you because your soul knows what is best for you. Do not forget to feed your soul, nourish her, listen to her, and love her. You love her by being kind to yourself, giving yourself grace, forgiving yourself, and doing what you love that brings you joy. Your soul is what connects you to the energetic life force that is God. You will always be guided if you just listen to the kind and loving voice in your mind and heart.”
TRY WRITING A LETTER TO YOUR YOUNGER SELF…
We tend to be our own worst critic. Try writing a letter to your younger self. As I was writing the letter, I skimmed through my memory of all the major events that took place from the time I was eighteen until now at age forty. I picked age eighteen because that was the year my life took a major turn. If you experienced a traumatic or challenging event in your life at a different age in your youth, maybe imagine talking to yourself at that age. A kind, forgiving and compassionate voice in my mind came through telling me what to write and what my eighteen-year-old self needed to hear. After I finished my letter and I was reading it aloud, I pictured my eighteen-year-old self sitting on the shag carpet in the bathroom of my childhood home reading the letter that I wrote at age forty. I could feel in my chest the relief that life will not be as horrible as I imagined. The worry lifted knowing my big dreams will still come true. Some people believe time is an illusion. Only on earth is there linear time (i.e., January to December; Monday to Sunday; etc.). Time, in relation to the universe, is like a web where the past, present, and future are weaved together and connected as one.
What would you tell your younger self? What does he/she/they need to hear in order to heal? It may surprise you hearing the kind voice in your mind come through as you write a message to yourself. That kind voice you hear is coming from your soul. The ego part of your mind is the critic that can be hard to silence. If you do this activity, it may surprise you what your letter will say.