After having the most amazing experience when Ryland was crossing over, (click the link here to read what happened), I knew it was a strong possibility that I would be able to connect with him after his death. I was scared to try at first, so I did not attempt it the first few days after he died. What if I couldn’t see or talk to him again in my meditation?
After Ryland died, I knew that I wanted him to be cremated instead of buried. I wanted the option to do something special with his ashes even though I didn’t know what that would entail.
When I was making funeral arrangements, I made it clear that I wanted to be present during his cremation. The funeral director needed to ask permission, because that is not a common request. He made the arrangements and told me when to arrive.
When the day came, I arrived early before the scheduled cremation time. While I was waiting for the funeral director to bring Ryland, I spoke with the ladies in the office. I thanked them for allowing me to come that day. She said they have had bad experiences in the past allowing people to come and watch. They no longer allowed people to stay after they put the body in and start the process.
When the funeral director arrived with Ryland, the woman in the office escorted me to the back room. I watched as the vehicle backed into the edge of the entrance of the building. After they opened the back door of the car, I began to cry when I saw the large white container. That was my Ryland in that box.
The men slide his box into the wall where he would be cremated. The funeral director saw that I was upset. He put his arm around my shoulders and scooted me closer towards him so I had a different view. From my new angle, I saw the fire burning in the background. Once I saw that fire, a peaceful feeling washed over me and I stopped crying.
Just like looking into the fire in a fireplace or fire pit, the flames have a mesmerizing effect. Fire is both healing and cleansing. All the elements have this power.
They closed the door and hit the button to start the cremation process. I looked at the woman and asked her if I could stay a little longer. I promised her I wouldn’t stay long. I am sure she saw the pain in my eyes pleading for more time. She compassionately agreed and said I could stay for ten minutes. I thanked her and asked her for a chair. After they gave me the chair, everyone left so I could be alone with Ryland.
I quickly got in my meditation, which feels like a FaceTime call in my mind’s eye to another dimension. As soon as it began, I heard the words, “I am okay mom. I am okay.” I am sure there was a smile on my face. I was so grateful I could hear him and that he was fine.
That is all I needed to hear to give me reassurance. I knew I would be able to connect with him going forward. I didn’t stay much longer after that, so I walked back to the office before my ten minutes ended. I thanked the woman again for allowing me to stay a little longer to be alone with Ryland, and then I left.