Life on Earth is all about duality. The balance of two things such as good and bad, light and dark, highs and lows, and love versus hate or indifference. No one can live a life without experiencing both. Some people who believe in reincarnation think that is the reason a soul would choose to come to live a life on Earth…for the duality. A soul that is not in body can only know love and light. If you only ever know one thing, then you can not truly understand it unless you experience the opposite of that thing. How would you know something is hot if you never experienced cold? How would you know love if you never experienced hate? There is a gift to suffering. Although it is very unpleasant, uncomfortable, and painful to go through the different challenges and experiences that come your way throughout your lifetime, there is beauty and lessons to be learned through each experience.
3 Positive Ways to View Suffering
- If I am honest with myself, the events or people in my life that have caused me pain and my greatest suffering have also been my greatest teachers. My wisdom grew and I evolved immensely from that pain I endured. Although the feelings of pain and hardship were uncomfortable, unwanted, and highly unpleasant, that same suffering shaped me into the person who I am today. My wisdom about life expanded, empathy for other humans and the human experience blossomed, patience for myself and others slowly grew, my strength for handling hard things was enhanced, and the skill of learning how to forgive others and myself developed. Something positive always enfolded from the pain even if it took years to recognize.
- Even though other people, unexpected events, or my choices played a major role in causing the initial suffering, I was the one allowing the pain to linger for years. I held onto the expectation of what could have been and what I thought should have happened. I replayed the memories over and over again in my head reliving the pain of what happened a thousand times over the course of my life. I learned that even though a particular event or person may have initially caused the pain, I was the one allowing the pain to linger therefore extending and keeping that spark of suffering alive. I held the keys to the cage of suffering I built all along while stubbornly refusing to unlock the door and set myself free. I had the power all along to set myself free and the way I did that was learning how to let go of my expectations of what should have happened and learning how to forgive which is no easy feat.
- In the same regards as following your bliss leads you towards happiness in life, suffering and pain is also guiding you along the way. I believe in a universe that is essentially good and based on love. I do not believe in coincidences and the notion that life just happens to us, or the idea that we have no control. I always try to find a deeper meaning as to why different situations occur. If something happens that is causing my pain, I will ask myself “What is this experience trying to teach me?”. Usually, since I am looking for an answer and asking myself this question, I tend to find the answer more quickly and can move through the pain at a faster rate. I have found that the pain and discomfort I feel is also guiding me towards a happier path in life. When it is time to move on from a relationship, job, place, etc. the discomfort I feel is pushing me towards making a new decision about my life. Whether it means it is time to move on completely and start fresh, or it means there are adjustments that need to be made to improve the current circumstance. The discomfort and unease I feel is always pushing me to take a different action which always leads me to a happier path on my journey through life.
I understand that some people are currently going through heart wrenching pain and suffering right now. They are in the middle of their storm, so looking at the positive aspects of suffering may not be possible at this time. All storms end though. Yes, you may feel the consequences of that storm of your life for years to come because it may have left a path of destruction and took everything away from you. I hope one day you will start to rebuild a new life slowly and gradually. The sun never stops shining. It is always there. One day you will see the beauty in life again if you look for it, because it never left you.
Written by Kathleen Bidner